Overcrowded Church

The two thousand member Baptist church was filled to overflowing capacity one Sunday morning. The preacher was ready to start the sermon when two men, dressed in long black coats and black hats entered thru the rear of the church.

One of the two men walked to the middle of the church while the other stayed at the back of the church. They both then reached under their coats and withdrew automatic weapons.

The one in the middle announced, "Everyone willing to take a bullet for Jesus stay in your seats!"

Naturally, the pews emptied, followed by the choir. The deacons ran out the door, followed by the choir director and the assistant pastor and start talk about great jokes.

After a few moments, there were about twenty people left sitting in the church. The preacher was holding steady in the pulpit.

The men put their weapons away and said, gently, to the preacher, "All right, pastor, the hypocrites are gone now. You may begin the service."

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a light bulb.

Three blondes are attempting to change a light bulb. One of them decides to call 911:

Blonde: We need help. We're three blondes changing a light bulb.

Operator: Hmmmmm. You put in a fresh bulb?

Blonde: Yes.

Operator: The power in the house in on?

Blonde: Of course.

Operator: And the switch is on?

Blonde: Yes, yes.

Operator: And the bulb still won't light up?

Blonde: No, it's working fine.

Operator: Then what's the problem?

Blonde: We got dizzy spinning the ladder around, and we all fell and hurt ourselves.

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What Type Of Prize Did You Win?

A blonde goes to the local restaurant, buys a small drink for herself, and sits down to drink it. She notices a peel-off prize sticker on the side of her cup while she is drinking. After pulling off the tab, she begins screaming, "I won a motor home! I won a motor home!"

The waitress runs over and argues, "That's impossible. The biggest prize given away was a stero system!"

The blonde replies, "No. I won a motor home!"

By this time, the manager makes his way over to the table, and he too argues, "You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as one of our prizes."

Again the blonde says, "There is no mistake! I won a motor home!" 

The blonde hands the prize ticket to the manager and he reads, "WIN A BAGEL." 

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Disney

Two blondes had driven across the country to see Disney World in Florida.

As they approached it and got onto the final stretch of highway, they saw a sign saying

"Disney World Left!"

After thinking for a minute, the driver blonde said

"Oh well!"

and started driving back home.

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Paradise

– Dady, what is in between mummy’s legs?

– A paradise.

– And what’s between your’s?

– The key.

– So you should change the lock, because our neighbour has a passkey.

Read more jokes with me :)

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pig wear

The Three Little Pigs

What do you call the story of The Three Little Pigs?

A pigtail!

Where do cows go on a Saturday night?

To the moo-vies!

If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?

Plenty of milk!

Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food?

Because he was a little gobbler!

Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road?

To see Gregory Peck!

What kind of tie does a pig wear?

Pig’s tie!

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clumsy hull of a freighter

The beef came out quickly, as did the accompaniments (the mushroom and tofu soup was outstanding). I took the small slices, reddish-pink and streaked with white fat, and placed them on the grill. The fat sizzled, droplets hitting the coal, and each piece quickly turned a beautiful shade of brown

This famous beach site is famous for its large yet clumsy hull of a freighter running aground in the early 80s. The ship now sits in the middle of a crescent beach, a few yards away from the tideline where bone-white sand meets the bright blue Ionian Sea. The sheer cliffs surround the beach so the cove is only accessible by boat. However, an abundance of providers in the area also says that there is a steady stream of tourists all summer long. The rusted shell set against the spectacular natural beauty of Zakynthos Island is a striking sight.

Calanque d’en Vau, France 

Calanque d’en Vau in France

Those who love adventure won’t want to miss this secluded spot on France’s southern coast. It’s only accessible by boat or two-hour ofhiking. And the effort that you puts into to get to this place makes the end result more appealing. This beach is surrounded by massive, craggy cliffs, and the visual contrast of bright blue Mediterranean against the white limestone. It makes this travel site feel like something that only existed in a dream.

Rabbit Beach, Italy

Rabbit Beach is probably one of the most beautiful beaches in theworld. It is located about 100 miles off the Italian coast. The water is pretty shallow, calm, and clear. This spot is really a haven for both swimmers and snorkelers.

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Rich Cornbread

1. 
   
2. Let's do it
3. Heat oven to 400 degrees, and butter a 9-by-13-inch baking dish. Melt remaining butter. In a large bowl, combine cornbread, white bread, onion, celery, sage, salt and pepper to taste. Toss until well mixed. Add melted butter, eggs, cream and 1 1/2 cups broth. Toss in oysters, if using. Mix lightly but well; mixture should be very moist.
4. Turn mixture into prepared dish. If mixture seems dry around edges, drizzle on remaining broth. Bake 45 minutes to 1 hour, until firm and browned on top.

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Eggs Eli

"blunt and tasty" egg dish, which dates back to 1909, in The New York Times Magazine. A simple dish with robust flavors, the recipe blends scrambled eggs with finely minced Virginia ham and anchovies. Before cooking, you rub the pan with a garlic clove, which scents the eggs without overwhelming them. If you're eating this for breakfast, as originally intended, serve it with toast points and butter. But if you're having it in the evening as a small first course — a perfectly acceptable choice — it should be accompanied with glasses of chilled fino sherry.

Rub the inside of a large skillet with the garlic clove. Place over medium-high heat and add the butter. When it's nice and foamy, pour in the eggs. Sprinkle the anchovy and ham over the eggs, then begin scrambling them, stopping when they're done to your liking.

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The story of Solitaire card games

Today, Solitaire has become one of the most popular card games on the world. You can play solitaire on your window pc or play solitaire free online. But not everyone know how Solitaire was born. And that is a long story.

The story of a group of card games known as Solitaire dates back to the mid-18th century. Internationally, the game of solitaire has many names. It is often called "Patience," especially in Britain. In France, the game is sometimes called "Success" (reussite). Other languages, such as Danish, Norwegian and Polish often use the word "Kabal" or "Kabala" (secret knowledge) to describe these games. This goes back to the early origins of solitaire where the outcome of a game may have been though to be a type of fortune telling.

Klondike solitaire turn one makes it earliest appearance in writing in about 1783 where it is described in a German book of games. It was described as a competitive card game where players would take turns or play with separate decks of cards. The idea of playing solitaire completely by one's self probably came out of people enjoying practicing for competitive games.

It is widely believed, but not true, that Napoleon played solitaire during his exile. Many solitaire games bare his name or the name of the island he was exiled to. However, Napoleon enjoyed the more popular games of the day such as Whist. But by the mid-19th century, solitaire was popular in French society.

It was also around that time that solitaire took hold in English society. Prince Albert was known to play, and books of rules began appearing in English in the late 19th century.

It wasn't until the second half of the 20th century that most modern forms of patience games began to take shape. Hundreds of books describing hundreds of different solitaire games have been published.

In the 1980s, personal computers made solitaire more popular than ever. Since players don't need to shuffle and deal the cards for each and every hand, game play has become more enjoyable. In addition, the ability to start a new game with only the click of a mouse has brought forward the addictive quality of these games.

Along with the development of personal computers, Solitaire card games have became extremely popular. Millions of people all over the world play solitaire every day, the office workers and housewives love it. Instead of a deck of cards as before, we only need a computer running Windows, or an electronic device with an internet connection , we can play all types of solitaire. So simple and attractive.

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